"Life's tough, Get a Helmet"

Someone recently told me that the best piece of advice she ever got was "life's tough, get a helmet;" the same night someone else said that "silence is agreement." I think I am realizing that I do need to open my mouth about the things going on in my life, whether they are good or bad. It has been (and still is) one of the hardest things for me to let other people into my life, to let them help me carry my burdens. The bible says in Galations 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Sometimes I wish I could do everything alone, without the help of other people but I can't. When I try I massively fail and usually freak out and shut down because I don't know what to do with it all. I have noticed though, that when I share the things going on in my life and in my heart that things are easier, not necessarily because the situation is easy but because I have encouragement and even help. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls, and has no one to help him up!" I have learned and am still learning that I NEED people because I don't want to be the fool that has no one to help me up if I fail; and maybe, just maybe I will fall less if I tell people whats going on so they can help me. I don't want to be silent anymore because heck no the devil is not going to have victory over my life, or anything having to do with my life, and my family, and my friends! God really has given us the authority over the devil and we have to recognize that authority and learn to use it; which by the way I am still learning to even understand the authority that God has given me. But it is so true that life is tough, and doesn't get easier just because we decide to follow Jesus; if anything it gets harder. That's why we must count the cost of following Jesus; is it really worth it?!?!?!? At this point though, I'm pretty sure it is. Something that I have to remember every minute of every day is that God really is in control.
1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

When the world is falling out from under me

Do you ever feel like you need a break? Like life can't get any worse? Like all the walls are caving in on you and maybe even the floor is collapsing? Almost as if everything you know is being taken away from you? I kind of feel that way right. I have been clinging to the Brooke Fraser song that talks about "when the world is falling out from under me, I'll be found in You" but I really do just want a break. For everything to stop, people to stop dying/almost dying, finances to be better, relationships not to be complicated, and so on. But as much as I wish things were better and I could get a break even if it was just a little one, what would that really accomplish? Maybe a little more sanity for me, but it really wouldn't help me to have to trust God. The bible says that God will never give us more than we can handle or endure; but I think I am getting to the end of my rope on dealing with things. This last year was the hardest year of my life and this new year doesn't really look like it is making more sense yet. I want to be a woman after God's heart, but for real. I want to know him so intimately almost as if I can hear his heartbeat and feel him hugging me and picking me up. I don't want him to just be this higher power that is added to me life; I want him to be my life and then other things just added in as he tells me too add them. I truly want to be that Proverbs 31 woman and nothing less than that.

Please be praying for me my friends.

Pondering...

So I was sitting in church tonight and was worshiping and praying pretty much like I normally would. But there was something very different happening tonight as I was worshiping. As we were singing worship songs there were certain lines of the songs that stuck out to me. But by stuck out, I really mean I couldn't shake them out of my mind until I wrote them down; even as I was singing other lyrics my mind was still stuck on the other lyrics.
One of the phrases was "struck with wonder, awestruck wonder at the mention of Your name." As I was thinking about that phrase I was almost baffled. I know that I am not struck with wonder; let alone awestruck wonder; at the mention of His name. I wonder why that is though? Maybe it has to do with the fact that our society has used the name of our father in such derogatory ways that it just seems impossible to be struck with wonder. But man, I want to be struck with wonder at just the mention of His name. He is such an amazing God, it seems like such an atrocity to me that we can't even be in awe of our God because we seek the approval of man so much!
Another phrase was "I've lost myself for good within Your glory." I almost think that stands alone; I don't even need to say anything. But man, I want to lose myself for real within Him. He wants us to lose ourselves within Him. It doesn't seem like it would be that hard of a concept, but apparently it is and He is willing and wants to help us with it; but we have die to ourselves to even begin to fathom what losing ourselves in Him means or looks like.
The last phrase was "Rose and conquered the grave!" How many people do YOU know that rose from the dead and conquered the grave? Huh? I sure don't know any; well except for one, and his name, well... his name is Jesus Christ. Nothing and no one can tell me different. First of all, He died on a cross for every human being, but he would have done it if it was just for me or for you. Then after dying he rose from the dead; he conquered the grave. That is such a hard concept for me to grasp because people don't raise up from the dead after being dead for three days very often. And in conquering the grave, He made a way for you and me to have eternal life with Him in a place that is so much better than this world that we live in now. No more troubles that we deal with daily here.
I can't imagine knowing these things and willingly turning my back on it all.

Wrap Me in Your Arms, Jesus!

Man, Jesus, it's so hard for me to actually deal with the stuff going on in my family. It is so hard for me not carry them or even just letting people carry my burdens with me; it should be so easy to just give them to you, but it isn't and I'm not sure why. Is it because I don't trust you completely? How do i still not trust you? You have proven yourself to me over and over again.
I am trying to cling to the song that says; "Though the world seems to forget, I will not forget who you are and what you've done for me."